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Let's Talk About Sex

Published on
Apr 16, 2021
Written by
Brooke English
Published by
Edited by
Lannii Layke

Professional Sexuality and Breakthrough Coach / Chief executive officer & founder of Gemmaspere / neuro-linguistic programming associate programmer / master tantric and reiki practitioner

GEMMA’S MISSION: To create a healing, sacred space to intentionally explore the depths of being and the monumental expressions of love by connecting the mind, body and soul, in order to passionately reveal your true essence and surrender to your true potential.

GEMMA’S VISION: To become a centre of tangible knowledge and creative explorations of sensuality and sexuality in order to provide a blueprint of highest well-being to millions of lives, and to replicate the sphere in every home in the world.


We believe our keystone of unconditional, devotional love is an experience that deeply permeates and nourishes every soul and every moment.

We believe there is infinite healing power within us and in all ecological resources open to us.

We believe ever-expanding gratitude enlivens all states and fates by sharing our innate abundance and beauty.

We believe anything is possible once you have a burning desire and a willingness to change, insightful awareness, flexibility of behaviour, and genuine trust.

We believe the principle of persistent faith and belief are the guiding, motivating forces that lead into heartfelt action


As a sacred sexuality and breakthrough coach, Gemma creates an empowering journey and encourages multi-sensory experiences. She brings the most effective modern and ancient tools for change, so that her clients can consistently navigate and achieve their desired outcomes in tangible and monumental ways. Since her ardent passion for personal, sexual and spiritual growth began in Spring of 2017, she transforms the lives of hundreds of individuals from all ages and walks of life. She aims to empower those around her with love, knowledge, integration, community and expansive possibility.

Brooke: How did you become a sexual energy healer?

Gemma: It was an incredible journey. I started doing interior design at Ryerson, and I felt like I was very much disconnected from my body and just cycling through a to-do list; trying to keep up with the past days, finding myself being creatively blocked, and that also being in parallel with the intimate relationships that I was having. I also felt frustrations and self-limiting beliefs about myself, like I wasn't truly being myself with either the relationships or friendships I was having, or the projects that I was making - I didn't feel like I was proud of them.

One day I decided to actually seek a modality that would provide a space that would be safe and meaningful for me to actually go back into my body, so that I would reconnect with my sensuality, which I always grew up with since I was little, in Venezuela. Coming from that culture, I felt very much disconnected from my essence. I wanted a space where I could return to that, hear myself, and also discover myself as a woman. I had always seen myself as a student, a sister, a lover, a worker, a daughter, but never truly a woman. I wanted to unlock that, and really dive into that; discover that mysticism, because we talk about it, but how do you understand it and make it make sense in the body?  

That's when I sought for tantra and energy healing, ways in which I could discover my body through massage in a way that I could actually tell my story without feeling shame, judgment, or any guilt for making decisions. Once I actually discovered the elevated experience of touch, connection and intimacy, that's when I decided to treat my life in that same standard. At that point, I realized that I was behaving in ways that were guided by other people's beliefs or what I thought other’s thought I should do. As soon as I let go of that, everything was possible. I was no longer afraid of letting go of what was no longer serving me, which was actually to drop out of my program. It was less of dropping out, and more of moving on.

My passion was always to create inspiring experiences to better connect people with each other, with culture, with history, with the environment, their senses and their spirit. That has never really left me. Sexuality came into my life because that was kind of the core of it all: where you would spark that fire, that inspiration, the fuel that would allow you to feel the desire and passion for life that would actually urge you, or inspire you to move beyond your comfort zone, beyond the edge of what is known, what is familiar.

In the dance of making love, being in the moment, you're always in the unknown. You don't know what's coming next. It is in that dance, where you are able to take risks, that are surprising, meaningful, delicious, and those feelings inspired me to let go of the layers that were obstacles, and sensuality allows you to do that. It allows you to reinvent yourself, and connect deeper with yourself first, and then with others, so that you can have the life that you want.

Brooke: What is the importance of sensuality within Venezuelan culture?

Gemma: Sensuality is a first language to us. 7% of communication are words, 93% of communication is non-verbal. So we’re very much in-tune with how we communicate with our bodies and how we embody and express that in uninhibited ways. Through dance, through the words themself, I find Venezuelan people to unapologetically say what they mean and mean what they say. That’s one thing I noticed in Canada, it was surprising  how often people say “sorry” in a way to diminish themselves.

Rather than saying for example, “sorry, I’m late,” you can say “thank you for being patient.” Being certified in neuralistic programming allowed me to see how language itself guides the way that we perceive reality. How we perceive each other, - what experiences mean to us. Especially when sexuality and sensuality are so charged with stories that are either limiting, or empowering. Especially in today’s generation, not many people are able to voice their stories.

In some ways, people voice their stories nonverbally through the way that they carry themselves into the room. They shut down their sexual energy, where they diminish their own lackluster, their vitality, their fertility can even be compromised, or even experience chronic illnesses because of the tension and the emotional frustration that they carry within themselves. When you are able to perceive how your sensuality is at that level, you are able to make a choice to let go of whatever is holding you back.

You can become aware of what is holding you back, so when you become conscious and aware of what you’re chasing, what you’re running from, using your past experiences to become sensual, and magnetically attract health, love, and wealth into your life. It’s kind of that je ne sais quoi about someone when they walk into the room, the sound of someone’s voice, the way they move through the room, the way they dress, and their word choice.

Brooke: For those reading who may not be familiar with the niche, what does this profession entail?

Gemma: This profession is something that I haven’t really seen out there before, it’s something that I created from scratch. Starting off with tantric massage, and coaching others to do the same. Through my own growth, I was shown what was possible, and created my own desired outcome. I would always find myself bouncing back to self-limiting beliefs, dreaming and aiming small, over-delivering, exhausting myself, and undercharging myself.

Around a year ago, I got a hand injury. I was not able to work for 6 months. When something that you love and you are passionate about is taken away from you, and you have to start over, what would you do? I then had to sit back and reevaluate in order to cultivate something new and start over as an entrepreneur.

I was lucky enough and am so grateful to have the people in my life and the resources accessible, being neuro-linguistic programming and breakthrough processes. With the breakthrough process, they go into all the limiting emotions through timeline therapy, quantum linguistics, as well as hypnotherapy, a process of 8 hours where you essentially reveal your power. You never really “lost it,” it’s not somewhere to be “found,” it’s actually always inside.

All you have to do is let go of those layers, and be willing to look. That happened in February, right before Covid. It taught me how to touch beyond touch. That’s when I realized the power of what I do, as it’s always nice to feel pleasure and bliss in a tangible form, being so deeply connected with someone or yourself, but a better question is how can we touch beyond actually touching.

Brooke: What is tantric massage?

Gemma: It is actually an ancient practice that teaches us to return to our senses, and worship the body so that it transcends into spirituality, who we are, with the world, with each other. People think that the body is a closed vessel, it is actually an open vessel, because you are in constant communication with your senses, and your external environment.

You experience the world through your senses. The modern modalities that I use, basically are able to reprogram the filter, called the conscious critical faculty (CCF) in which that information comes through. This filter is a sorting mechanism that is stored within the memory of our body, and some people may experience chronic illness, awkwardness, or rejection surrounding touch, anxiety or depression surrounding the thoughts of becoming sexually expressive, or surrendering to touch.

Tantra is a sacred space where you can experience a very slow form of touch, that is sensual in nature, and able to heighten the senses as it allows you to turn so much to your body that you can experience heightened levels of awareness. Once your CCF melts away, you enable yourself to really relax and stop the noise in your head, of tension, of things that happen at work, of arguments or conflict. You really see what you are truly yearning for.

My purpose is to teach about the unknown, like the 20+ reasons why sex is beneficial to everyone, or how there is more than 3 forms of female orgasms. It is a force of procreation, of life, celebrating life through projects, ideas, through accelerating change, new ideas, and you are maximizing your performance.  

Brooke: How has improving sexual wellness impacted your life?

Gemma: Personally, the first thing that I remember was struggling with menstruation. Such crippling menstruation that I would not be able to perform, be so depleted with no energy, not able to control my emotions, crying for no reason. That’s when I decided to first treat the body, and treat intentionally. Being conscious of what i’m putting in it, seeing the changes, and honoring those changes. Sexual wellness first and foremost, gives you pleasure through natural chemicals. It allows for circulation to those areas, similar to working out, it gives you that nourishment, the feel-good hormones so that there are newfound emotions, and excitement for life.

Pleasure balances your system, and creates a mind-heart coherence. I’ve been studying heart math, allowing your heart to become the centre, where it radiates ten times more electromagnetic field. Once you experience those heightened emotions and allow yourself to respond to touch, your mind and your heart connect and achieve coherence, through being able to stimulate blood flow, heightened oxygen levels, feel-good chemicals into the brain.

This lights up the brain and allows you to achieve new ideas, solutions, to come into your field of vision and perception. where you bring your brain, mind, body and emotions into balanced alignment. This state of balance is what I mentioned earlier, coherence. In addition, improving sexual wellness in my life has allowed me to experience physical and psychological healing, passionate creativity, emotional resilience, erotic intelligence, and social intelligence. It allows you to honour yourself and your desires, to heighten your sensations and self awareness, and importantly it increases human connection and your human potential.

Brooke: How do you use sensuality and sexuality as an art of expression?

Gemma: Touch is as essential as water. Sexuality and sensuality delivers inspired action, that desire of wanting to make things happen, that urge to take action. It’s one thing to read a book, or listen to a podcast, but you must understand translating these ideas into habits. You go from being, to doing, to having. If you adopt the mindset of your ideal self, you can take a quantum leap to achieve your goals.

Brooke: What would you say is a first step to those intrigued in order to understand the synergy between the self and one's sexual being?

Gemma: The first step is to know that you are not your body. You have a body: you are a soul. Regardless of what is moving you: creativity, higher intelligence, higher power, God, that moves you and motivates your body in certain ways, your body is the vehicle before that, so as long as you take care of it, you can better understand your mind-body connection. The second thing to note is that you are not your thoughts.

Some people are trapped so much in overthinking, complaining, thinking of the repeating stories from the past. This doesn’t allow you to enjoy the present moment or the future ahead. Understanding that you are not your thoughts allows you to go into a place where you are still, and from that space you can allow yourself to become playful with that expression with your body, the ways you dance, the way you experience pleasure with yourself and others, the ways in which you connect with others.

Brooke: How does understanding the importance of sexual energies improve one’s sex life?

Gemma: I have this theory in a way, that sex life becomes more meaningful and deeper once you slow down, and go beyond the surface. So many people miss the deeper, intimate, raw ways of understanding others in all sorts of ways, on a deeper level. The bedroom can be a place to nourish each other, to grow with each other, a place for a catalyst to happen, healing to happen, rejuvenation, creating life itself, to evolve.

Brooke: How does understanding the importance of sexual energies improve their self perception?

Gemma: It is so important to honour the fact that you are a primal being. Something that I approach people with is that we have the primal, the human, and the divine. Most people are only in the primal, and they discard the human and the divine. Or they are very highly spiritual, all about love and peace, but dismiss the human and the primal, as very ‘enlightened’ beings. It is essential to honour yourself and others as: the primal, the human and the divine.

Brooke: What are methods you use to listen to your body?

Gemma: I use meditation to observe how my thoughts and feelings rise and fall, and sometimes embody that meditation through dance, singing, working out, self pleasure, and through yoni practice. Through creating these rituals by circulating this sexual energy from that raw, heavy state to new life force.

Brooke: What do you look for in connection, intimacy and sex?

Gemma: I look for authenticity, clarity, open communication with yourself and others, and most importantly self awareness.

Brooke: How can people work with you?

Gemma: Currently, I am seeing clients individually, as couples, and in groups. I additionally host different events, workshops, as well as online workshops, and international retreats. I’m currently planning a retreat to Italy, with the people who have already gone through my 7 month program. My program focuses on mastering the mind, body and soul, through healing, wellness, intimacy, relationships, creative practice or even one’s professional life!

Gemma’s calm and collected disposition reminded me to reconsider how I carry myself into a room, how I speak to others, and to myself. These are important principles of life that we need to be reminded of; as the ways in which we are able to touch those around us without actually touching. In a world currently suffering through a global pandemic, it is imperative in order to maintain and grow relationships, old or new. Deep reflection and introspection have become habitual for many while experiencing repeated lockdowns due to COVID-19. However, it’s important to remind ourselves that in these moments of reflection, we need to be gentle with ourselves and honour our unique power. Most importantly, improving our relationships in the sheets (with yourself or others) improves relationships in the streets!

Photos from @gemmasphere